I counted on you! I had faith in you; and you failed me! When the whole world made fun of you because your wife publicly called you "Tommy," I defended you, even to complete strangers on the bus! When someone called you an arrogant stuck-up pretty boy, I punched them in the face and screamed racial epithets at their children! I was on your side, I had your back, I was your buddy, your pal... And this is how you repay me?
That's it! I've had enough! I'm done with you!
No, wait, come back! I didn't mean it! You know I'll always love you, Tom! But what can I do, what can I say, to make you stop hurting me? What am I doing wrong? What do you want from me? Don't you care about me anymore?
Granted, you weren't as bad as you were during the AFC Championship game. I'll give you that much... You did fall just shy of 300 yards and threw for two touchdowns, including connecting for 16 straight complete passes, breaking the all-time Super Bowl record. But when it mattered most, when the game was on the line, you fell apart! That was when you used to be the most reliable, when I could just smile and sit back, eat a few nachos and relax, knowing you were going to come through in the clutch...
Where is my clutch Tom Brady? What have you done with him!?
I will be back when 2012 training camps begin; I can't help myself. And tragically, you know that, which is why you can head off to your million dollar mansion without a care in the world while I'm stuck here, freaking out. But I'll be waiting for you; and please, for the sake of my sanity, find a way to come back to the old Tom. Before GQ, before the super model wife and the illegitamate children, before the long, greasy hair, before the perfect season and the zillion touchdowns and the undefeated season... Come back to the Tom that just had to win, no matter what it took, no matter what needed to be done.
Come back to us, Tom.
We miss you...
Also, give Welker a pat on the back. He looks like he's ready to jump off a bridge.